I'm an angry man today. I'm a bitter prick, filled with vitriol for my fellow man. I could give you a litany of reasons for why I'm like this, but I won't bore you.

Instead, I'm going to channel the hate flowing through my veins into a blog post. When life hands you lemons, angrily rant about the things that piss you off, I always say. So today, I'm taking shots.

1. I can't stand blind homerism, no matter the form. Just admit you're in the bag for Mexican soccer. Most of us don't care anyway.

2. I'm sick of snarky, soccer-hating ESPN anchors. We get it, you don't like the sport. You'd rather be doing another mind-numbingly boring Big Ten college basketball game. Someone there obviously wants to sprinkle in some soccer though, so just shut up and narrate the highlight like a professional. I didn't realize Sportscenter was Showtime at the Apollo.

3. I hate the fact that I feel the need to defend a league that keeps screwing up. ARRGHHHH! What the hell is this "extended loan" crap? Sell the guy, or don't sell the guy! MAKE A DECISION! It pisses me off that you're giving crappy, ever-negative "writers" a golden soapbox to stand on and rip you with their impossible-to-read blog posts.

4. I hate expats that feed the haters. How is MLS ever supposed to improve or gain traction in the U.S. if those in positions of influence give the Eurosnobs license to ignore the league? We get it, your football palate is too refined for the nascent MLS; so just ignore it like everyone else and let Americans make up their own minds. People are followers, and when you constantly harp on the quality and organization of MLS, those who might have given the league a chance (and a few dollars) drift away, anxious to emulate the obnoxious English loudmouth they hear on the radio.

5. I hate the homphobic, idiotic, meathead-American-male statement that soccer is "gay". Okay, so maybe this one isn't worth the effort; I've just never addressed it, and I am venting here. Gay? Really? I mean, where does that even come from? I've learned through the course of my life that it's impossible to argue with an idiot; obviously anyone that calls soccer "gay" is just that. Still, something so stupid shouldn't be allowed to slide. Not only is it homophobic and discriminatory, it's completely ignorant. WATCH A PROFESSIONAL GAME YOU CLOSE-MINDED BASTARD! All of these Americans, running around declaring soccer "gay", and the vast majrority of them have never even attempted to watch a complete professional match. Ugh.

I got a little worked up there as I went along. I'm sure there are plenty of other things I could go off about, and I'll more than likely think of them as soon as I hit the "publish" button.