Every sports fan in American knows the power of sports talk radio; fans are insatiable when it comes to consuming information and idle opinion. The empire ESPN has built on both television and radio is a testament to this fact. The average sports talk radio show consists of a couple of blithering idiots armed with microphones, uninformed opinions, and a proclivity to yell. And yet, despite the idiocy, these shows thrive. Millions of Americans tune in every day, to both local and national shows, to hear every sports story available analyzed from every angle imaginable.

And yet, again despite the idiocy, I myself am a sports talk radio addict. I can't help it: every day on my hour long commute to and from my tedious, brain numbing job, I scan the dial for anything related to sports. The stations and shows I tune in to cover everything the average American sports fan could want: football, basketball, baseball, hockey, even tennis and golf. But because I'm not the average American sports fan, they leave me wanting. Rarely, if ever, do they even mention the word "soccer", and if they do it's because DC United has purchased an ad or two, or has a promotion running with the station. On the odd chance one of the hosts has a passing interest in the game and attempts to discuss it beyond a brief mention, he's shouted down with vitriol.

My morning commuting routine includes The Junkies (formally the Sports Junkies; originally just a sports talk show, they've remade themselves as morning drive shock jock types), a local show on the Washington, D.C. airwaves. I've been a fan of The Junkies for years, and I'm very aware that soccer simply doesn't exist in their sports fan world. Their daily "sports page" segment includes national stories, local scores, and other items deemed worthy by the hosts; I simply can't remember any soccer story, much less something not involving DC United, making the "sports page". Imagine my shock today when one of the more frustratingly idiotic hosts mentions the Beckham drama. While he butchered the story completely, I was momentarily delighted to hear my favorite radio show talking about the beautiful game.

Now, I should have known better than to get my hopes up once the subject was broached. Short of a mention, a snide comment, and a quick transition to another story, there was simply nothing the four DJs had to give when it came to soccer. When the discussion turned to one of the hosts expressing his bafflement over the "loan" as it exists in club football, I knew it wasn't going to end well. After attempting to muddle their way through the circumstances of Beckham's Milan adventure, and summarily dismissing the loan concept as both too foreign and unfathomable, one host summed up the American sports talk radio attitude towards soccer perfectly. He said, "It's a stupid sport, anyway."

Ouch.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I shot off a tongue-in-cheek text message to the show, carefully stating my opinion that the host in question was a (choice word) moron. Still, despite exacting my pissant-listener revenge through an anonymous electronic communication device, I was left with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Although I am supremely aware of the status of the game in my country, his words saddened me. Soccer fans in the United States, and those who actively try to spread the gospel of the game, are like Sisyphus, forever pushing our boulder up the hill, only to watch it roll back down again. Even when we feel as though we're making progress, there's always something or someone there to bring us back to the reality that for most Americans, soccer simply doesn't matter.

It clear to me that it's a far distant future that includes regular discussion of soccer on sports talk radio. The game has two strikes against it on the terrestrial radio landscape; the hosts are always the uninitiated, Americans whose exposure to the sport has never gone beyond their kids rec soccer games, and the sport is simply not relevant enough in the United States so as to force them to discuss it. Until the time comes that Americans cry out for soccer talk from their favorite idiots with microphones, those of us who love the game will simply have to rely on the internet for our footy fix.

Thank goodness for podcasts.